How Wuld Life Be Without You

Oh pity heart,

where else u can run from pain?

i hope that u can never see the pain,

and ncver felt it.

Sometimes i think that knife is the better way to kill the pain.

But i never try it before. hurm

I realy tired of this pain

i wan it gone.

People always fool me

what did i done wrong?

huhuh

i never done wrong with u guys unless u did something bad to me.

T___T

World was never fair to me.

Why...

why..

i realy need answer.

why you like that to me?

huhuhu

i hope that u just kill me if u dont want me anymore and that way i will never felt the pain that u LEFT BEHIND TO ME.

huhuhu am i a monster?

am i non-human like everyone on earth?

am i plastic doll?

huhuhu sometimes i wonder if u all got heart...i think i have one..

Do you have "Feelings"?

Why need to crush someone feelings?

why need to crush someone heart?

Why need to crush someone trust?

Why?

Dont you think if non of these happen the world will be harmony?

no fight no evil inside the smile?

if im a psyco killer. . .

ill kill these unwanted person on the earth.

:)

anyway....i dint know what the fuck im saying....hurm

please...think...i want you to think...

i also got heart and feelings like you.

I also. . .got Feelings. . .

yesterday, we were going to the beach.

I follow Mr.Gaban car to go there.

We having a BBQ day.Hohoho

yeah it was very nice. And i get a new friends but i dint much talk to them cuz im not good at communication to others that i really dont know haha.

It takes time to me to biasa kan my communicate with others. huhuh sometimes it takes weeks or month.

uhuhuhuh

hurm...well that day was very relaxing day. . .

i love taking picture so i borrow Mohd Nazrien Camera.

huhuhu...so fuckin nice day.

after i tired taking picture. . .i wana take a walk alone.

I ask them wer the toilet, and then they told me at Hujung sana dorang ckp..

So i take my headphone, On the mp3 player, and switch the song called

Banana Pancakes.

ahh~ the song makes me felt relaxing.

My mind so empty and really realy make me relax.

As i walk. . .the wind, the sound of the ocean and the song. .ahh...its realy nice.

i take my mini cigar and i smoke with it. . .

hurm. . .ocean is make me alive, and calm.

When i goin back to our spot BBQ. . .i remember her suddently but it wont stop me to having a good day.

kinda sad but i like being alone sometimes.

Yeah these past few month i keep buying cheap and mini cigar. . .

why? cuz i rather spending my money then spending on someone or girlfriend.

Not even that, im feeling statisfaction on what im buying and it makes me felt good for it.

hurm i dono sda apa sa ckp ni hahaha....anyway ALERT! BI FAIL!

When ppl told u to stay calm and buat like relax...its hard to me to doin that.

hurm. . what if u guys love someone that u really love. then someone told u that....to forget it just like that......memang la dpt...cuz why? Cuz u dint love that person very well. Cuz u dint love him/her like you love her...

thats why ppl sometimes forget about that.

Easy to say But Hard To Do.

easy to someone say but its hard to me to Do it.....

btw.....today.....and yesterday...._|_

My middle finger.

_|_

I realy hate my dream.

_|_

hurm. . .

i wish i never dream anything.

=\ its a bit boring when got no dream ha!

tapi ok jga right? no dream lol

_|_ dream.

Today i lepak with my frens gaban pam hazik and more.....

then after that..i dono rina was bring my ex to..lol

=_=

then i make dono ja la...haiz..

but things doin great....

and aku balik2 muntah AHHA

after that....we go rumah hantu.....hurm...i abit feel scared.

and that was it...

finish.

Today Day....

i feel...

so...

fucked up

Day.

The End

its 4.17 am

today i was very moody.

so when i moody i eat alot.

hurm

i eat

I only have two words for you. . .

~ Im Done ~

After everything i've done for you every chance that I gave you and yet you still break my heart...

but it's over

Finally ive realized i dont deserve this

and honestly you dont deserve me.

Yeah, i still love you and I probably will for a long time,

But i can't stay here anymore.

It hurts to much.

I guess this is. . moving on. . .

I guess im tired of being the last thing on your mind.

I should have known from the start youd go and break my heart.

You took my love and threw it away as if it were nothing...

To me...Youre everything but to you...

Im just another meantime guy...

You hurt me more than i deserve

how can you be so cruel?

I love you more than you deserve...why am i such a fool?

Now i belive it when people say,

Love is blind coz i must have been blind to love a person like You...

It finally hit me that you dint care when you walked away and never looked back...

Suddently . . .im hating my self for everything ive ever felt for you.

Somoetimes i wish i would go back and erase the day i met you...but then i will never regret loving you. "Only beliving you love me too"

Thank you for ripping my heart out and breaking it in half...

now i know how much you care.

Watching you walk out of my lofe dosent make me bitter about love, but rather makes me relize that...if I wanted so much to be with the wrong persong how great it will be when the night one comes along..

There is no medication for this illness. No known cure other than TIME.

maybe someday Ill get my heart..maybe someday im not.

maybesomewhere down the wad ill forget to remember you...

One day you will seek love and be sorry that. . .

You trew mine away~

But still. . .i love you.♥♥♥

I got Fragile heart.

Its easy to be broken and its hard to recover it back.

It takes years to recover it.

:(

I taking love seriusly even it takes me one minutes on my life,

:(

now. . .my heart stuck with you.

Hurm. . .

i still wana run away from my own hometown.

i realy felt Very jynx.

yeah i know its sound stupid because of love.

hurm i still planing where can i go. . .

still on research wer can i stay. . .

still doin it hard to find cash. . .

Today i dint go class cuz something has happen.

My plan ac2ly is i dint wana see all ma friends today. i wana take alone day, go drawing, alone, jalan2 alone..kinda thing like dat la.

I arived at cosmo at 11.20 gitu la but my plan wasnt work . Hukhukhuk aku tejumpa juga dorang so just layan n wat dono.

yeah i hate ppl that say and mengolok someone in bad shape of those relationshp.

huhuhuh

So i meet them then i say " I got something to do. Chow *with fake smile cuz im sad!*"

so i use the backdoor of MAA door.

So now im going to Suria .. jalan kaki.haha..exercise kono...padahal hahha.

So while im walking to suria i buy some gula2 and air..cuz i dono why i repeatedly felt like i wana vormit balik2 ni huhuhu cuz tadi pagi also got vormit but nothing keluar haha sakit ow my perut ni :( :( :(

After a cople minit me sampai at Sebelum Post officeKK tu....sebelum dia ada tempat jalan and got Kerusi Besi sana, ada Tiga tu. . .so i sit at the middle one cuz the cahaya matahari got no . . .

So i wana take some rehat with smoke but i cant smoke that time cuz to much smoke already.

I take Pamela Shoes and continue drawing .

When i was drawing at shoes some tourist take a picture of me! HAHA

then after that some local people and his beloved gF came and i dint realy hear what there talking cuz im concentrate at my drawing. LOL

after a few second i left my head up and smile. the man ask me about the shoes, ask me ima shoes artists? and my name n facebook and i got my web or blog or something ..

i dint realy heard the rest of it cuz...im to tired that time. No sleep with 2 days kunu, my heart also tired. . . tired been play. . .pain. . .deep pain. . .

huhuh

After that the coples go ahead cp and im still drawing. . .after a few minutes some crazy dudes halau me dari kerusi tu ba but i make dono ja cuz im not in the mood of scared or anything right now.

So i say to the crazy guy

Me : ai..sini ko jan ko bediri duduk kita sama2. . .nah rokok untuk ko

Crazy Dude : aina . .trima kasi ya nak. . .

*he take the cigarate and ask me lighter *

but i got no lighter i say dat time he borow someone passing by lighter ..

ghahahaha yang dia pinjam sama org lalu lalang tu..derek lari...takut kali ahahah

so after 3 minits i think. . .the sun start to aim to my back...so hot ow...so before i contienue back my jalan to suria. . .i give 2 ringgit at plastics to that crazy dude.*secara tapuk2*

then i go .

After i sampai at Suria. . .i continue drawing at book store there. huhu curi design la kono. :D

cuz im still new and im still learning new stuff new design. . .

after that i saw a dark cloud . . .i think mau ujan lebat so i pack my stuff there and head back to Cosmo.

after i keluar from suria. . .the rain already start . so i just jalan ja.

huhuh all the way long....to melimewah bustop there.

When im sitting there i was thinking so many things.

about Her. . .♥

hurm i still love her but we both aggre that we both need sometimes.

so. . .i respect thatT__T cuz i have to....huhuh im so deep in hurt .

i just termenung...look at the rain droping slowly at the bustop roof.

the man standing at hujung bustop with umbrella . . .i see whole my sekeliling. . .it was like Frozen Picture. . . serius. . it was beautifull that time.

The mom and the son just dont move with the umbrella. . .nvm u guys wont get it juga.

after that i naik Citybus go terminal. After i sampai Terminal. . .

So this time i dont wana masuk Wawasan. Takut tejumpa Her. .

so i take the left side jalan. . .then i ikut the parking dekat bawa underground...when i sampai dekat Parking underground yang mau turun tu....i tenampak her...huhuhuuh...so i make dono ja then lari pegi bawa....huhuhu when she look at me. . .i can feel direct into my heart the pain of love!

huhuh yeah i still love her. .

hurm when i was think back....malu ni huhuh....yala...kawn2 dia nampak...im wet kena hujan... then ntah la..nvm

zzzzz

so i go upstairs and continue drawing pamela shoes. . .sampai la balik...

sebelum balik me gaban and pam go tu Fuk Yuen agen drink there.

huuh

after that..i sampai rumah derek tidur then i wake up~ i forgot to take a shower cuz im to tired now.

huhuh....so..at last im sleep juga :)

ps : yea we break already. . .sepa2 yang dulu wana see me break with her.....sekarang kamu puas hati? spa2 yang wana try break us...sekarang kamu hapy?

nampak org senang pun...x boleh?

kamu mau kasi down aku? aku sekarang down...so...just say what ever u wana say...

harap2 kamu puas hati!? T__T